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He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. Antoine de Saint Exupery |
The Traditional Funeral
(Normally held in a place of worship or a funeral chapel, either conducted by persons of faith or secular in nature.)
The traditional funeral increasingly is becoming less traditional these days. Ceremonies tend to contain non-traditional or creative elements -- Elton John singing Candle In The Wind at Princess Diana's funeral or Justin Trudeau's eulogy to his father, for example.
But one need not be famous to be honoured creatively. A wonderful recent example is the retired New York City fire fighter whose casket was painted fire-engine red. His community of friends, many of them fire fighters, loved the gesture.
Many choose to arrange funeral ceremonies as "A Celebration Of Life," preferring to recognize the accomplishments and affection the deceased has earned, as opposed to the loss a death creates in our own lives.
In these instances, the traditional service is mixed with stories, eulogies, good humour, music, photographs, mementoes, and even video in these days when so many of the events and people in our lives are so often digitally captured.
The choice of these creative elements depends on what is appropriate to the departed and the family. It is the obvious we often overlook. In Carol Shields' award-winning novel, The Stone Diaries, the casket of the much misunderstood Daisy Goodwill Hoad Flett is blanketed in beautiful pansies. "Someone should have thought of daisies," a guest rightly suggests.
A bag of golf clubs by the casket of an accomplished golfer; canvases of an amateur artist displayed in the foyer; a favourite cowboy hat beside the urn -- personal remembrances lift our spirits, and give the ceremonies more dimension than simply that of grieving.
