Do not seek death.
   Death will find you.
   But seek the road
   which makes death
   a fulfillment.
    Dag Hammarskjold

A Reader's Guide

Here are books written to bring comfort and insight about death, grief and bereavement.

The guide is written and compiled in part by Barbara Hynek,  Manager of the White Rock Library.  The titles with Dewey decimal system numbers can be requested from any branch of your local library from Bowen Island to Hope, and are generally available in public libraries throughout British Columbia.  

Underlined titles may be purchased online direct from Chapters.

The guide is compiled under the following categories:

Death and Dying
Grief, Loss & Bereavement
Inspirational
Death Of A Child
Parenting The Grieving Child
Teenagers Dealing With Death
Life After Death

Death and Dying

Choosing Wisely:  How Patients and Their Families Can Make the Right Decisions About Life and Death
Charles Radey, 1992
174.24
The author is a physician who uses case histories to help families who struggle with ethical decisions regarding medical treatment.  He gives the reader basic tools necessary to make informed decisions during a medical crisis. Includes instructions for writing a living will.

Death And Dying: Opposing Viewpoints
1992
179.7
A series of opposing arguments on topics such as the best treatment for terminally ill patients and how dying patients can control the decision to end treatment.  Also looks at life after death.

Gentle Closings:  How To Say Goodbye to Someone You Love
Ted Menten, 1991
155.937
A gentle book of stories about how people have said goodbye to a loved one.  Provides ideas on how to push aside fear and despair and face death with warmth and frankness.

Going the Distance: One Man's Journey to the End of His Life 
George Sheehan, 1996
155.937
A series of essays which document the life of a doctor, author and marathon runner who was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and fought with courage and defiance until his death.

How We Die:  Reflections Of Life's Final Chapter
Sherwin B. Nuland, 1993
616.078
A medical account of how various diseases take away life.  The author clearly describes the choices that can be made to allow each of us his or her own death.

On Death And Dying
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, 1969
155.937
This author is the world's foremost expert on death, dying and the afterlife.  This classic work was written to offer a new perspective of the terminally ill in the hope that we can learn from them about the final stages of life.

A Necessary End
Nick Taylor, 1993
306.9
The author chronicles the life of his elderly parents as they pass through the final stages of life.

Sister Age
M.F.K. Fisher, 1983
In fifteen stories, Fisher documents the human strength in the unavoidable encounter with the end of life.  The witnessing of death, the resilience of the old and the passing of vanity are explored with insight, sympathy and wit.

Start The Conversation:  The Book About Death You Were Hoping To Find
Ganga Stone, 1996
291.23
A sensitive and practical book that encourages the reader to let go of the fear of dying.  Building on the idea that only the body can die, Ganga Stone draws on the stories from her own bold and effective work with terminally ill patients.

After Great Pain:  A New Life Emerges
Diane Cole, 1992
155.937
After suffering personal painful experiences, the author explores theories of why we hurt and how we can begin to heal.  While every loss is painful, Cole demonstrates that out of the that pain can come renewal, redefinition and hope.

The Art Of Condolence
Leonard M. Zunin, 1991
306.9
What to say, write and do at a time of loss.

Beyond Grief:  A Guide To Recovering From The Death of A Loved One
Carol Staudacher, 1987
155.937
The author is a grief consultant and provides clearly stated suggestions that help people cope with all aspects of the bereavement process.

Dancing In The Dark:  A Sister Grieves
Elsie K. Neufeld, 1973
155.937
After her brother was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver, the author embarks on a voyage of grief, working through the healing process to arrive at a reconciliation.

Grief Recovery Handbook:  A Step By Step Program For Moving Beyond Loss
John W. James and Frank Cherry, 1988
152.4
The co-founders of the Grief Recovery Institute present their proven recovery program that has helped thousands of individuals recover from all kinds of losses.

How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies
Therese A. Rando, 1988
155.937
A compassionate and comprehensive guide through the process of grieving.  Includes information about talking to children about death, resolving unfinished business, and getting through holidays and difficult times of the year.

I Can't Stop Crying
John D. Martin, 1992
155.937
Following the death of a spouse, partner or close friend, grief is seen as a painful but necessary process.  The author stresses the importance of giving yourself time to grieve and suggests steps for rebuilding your life without your partner.

Letters From Motherless Daughters:  Words of Courage, Grief and Healing
Hope Edelman, 1995
155.937
Letters of comfort and support from women who have shared the experience of losing their mothers.

Letters To My Husband
Fern Field Brooks, 1994
155.937
A year after the death of her husband, the author finds solace in writing letters to him.  Her letters recount memories of their life together and show how she copes with grief.

Letting Go With Love: The Grieving Process
Nancy O'Connor, 1984
155.937
A positive self-help guide that explains the grieving process involved with every kind of death including suicide, abortion and one's own death.

Life After Loss: A Personal Guide to Dealing with Death, Divorce, Job Change and Relocation
Bob Deits, 1992
155.93
Positive, sensitive approach for recovery from painful loss.  Includes exercises and charts designed to work through grief.

Losing A Parent: Passage To a New Way of Living
Alexandra Kennedy, 1991
155.937
Through her own personal story, the author helps the reader come to terms with the death of a parent and gain insight from this intense life change.

Living Through Mourning: Finding Comfort and Hope When A Loved One Has Died
Harriet Sarnoff Schiff, 1986
155.937
The author writes about emotions common to many survivors including those that make us feel isolated and afraid.  She stresses the importance of sharing and believes that a group setting can be an ideal area to vent feelings and be guided through healing.

Midstream:  The Story Of A Mother's Death and A Daughter's Renewal
Leanne Schreiber, 1990
A moving memoir which chronicles the author's rural life along the Hudson River and her mother's death from pancreatic cancer.  She writes with humour and hope as well as anger and despair.

Motherless Daughters:  The Legacy of Loss
Hope Edelman, 1994
155.937
Building on stories of hundreds of women who have lost their mothers, the author examines the profound effects this can have on daughters of any age.

Mourning Handbook:  A Complete Guide For The Bereaved
Helen Fitzgerald, 1994
155.937
This book was written to respond to the needs of people facing the death of a loved one.  It is a valuable resource that deals with the difficult situations complicating grief such as multiple deaths or murder as well as practical issues surrounding death.

Recovering From The Loss Of A Parent
Katherine Fair Donnelly, 1987
155.937
This book was written for adults who have suffered the loss of a parent.  The author has included inspiring and touching stories of how people have overcome their sorrow.  Also included are insightful comments by psychologists and grief counselors.

Seven Choices: Taking Steps To New Life After Losing Someone You Love
Elizabeth Harper Neeld, 1990
155.937
The author identifies seven major phases of grief and offers the griver choices that will help provide a new zest for life.  The book presents an original and meaningful approach to the grieving process.

Surviving Grief -- And Learning To Live Again
Catherine M. Sanders, 1992
155.937
A compassionate book that offers support and understanding to those suffering the loss of someone they love.  The author who is a therapist specializing in bereavement issues helps readers realize what they are feeling is a part of a natural process.

A Time To Say Good-Bye: Moving Beyond Loss
Mary McClure Goulding, 1996
155.937
The author, an internationally recognized psychotherapist, recounts her own journey through the process of mourning the death of her husband.

Life's Losses:  Living Through Grief, Bereavement and Sudden Change
Betty Jane Wylie, 1996
15.937
The author writes about the pain of loss with the compassion and insight of a woman who has lived through it.

Ever After:  A Father's True Story
William Wharton, 1995
B/Wharton
The author's 36-year-old daughter and her family were victims of a massive traffic accident.  In addition to writing of his own pain, he recounts the horrors of dealing with the legal system and insurance claims.  This is the story of one man's rage against death and his spiritual renewal.

Getting Through The Night: Finding Your Way After The Loss of a Loved One
Eugenia Price, 1982
248.86
A short inspirational book that looks to God For help in dealing with grief.

A Grief Observed
C. S. Lewis
242.4
Compiled from notebooks written at the time of his wife's death, this book probes Lewis's own personal mourning and loss and he questions all he once believed about life, death and God.

I'll Love You Forever, Anyway
Edith Kunhardt Davis, 1995
B/Davis
An unrelenting and honest account of the author's 27-year-old son's death.  This book is based on a diary she began six days after his death.

The Lessons of Love: Rediscovering Our Passion for Live When It All Seems Too Hard To Take 
Melody Beattie, 1994
248.86
A personal story of passion and love written by a popular inspirational writer after the death of her 12-year-old son.  It is a moving story of how she chose to embrace life instead of succumbing to despair. 

Living When A Loved One Has Died
Harold Kushner, 1987
296.3
Inspired by the death of his 14-year-old son, the author offers wise and compassionate advice on how to deal spiritually with loss and tragedy.

After The Death Of A Child: Living With Loss Through The Years
Ann K. Finkbeiner, 1996
155.937
This book acknowledges that there is no recovery from such a loss.  Based on interviews, the author looks at ways parents survive both  short term and long-term effects, and helps parents devise ways to preserve the love and bonds with the lost child.

Bereaved Children And Teens: A Support Guide For Parents and Professionals
Earl A. Grollman, 1995
155.937
This book covers topics such as what children can understand about death at different ages, the special problems of grieving teenagers, and what teachers and parents can do to help.

The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide
Helen Fitzgerald, 1992
155.937
This book offers practical, compassionate advice for helping a child with the death of a parent or loved one.  It includes suggestions for dealing with emotional responses and helping a child adjust to a new life.

Helping Children Cope With Separation and Loss
Claudia Jewett Jaratt, 1994
155.4
Ms. Jaratt looks at various types of losses that children suffer, including death, and provides step by step guidance for adults helping a child cope and recover.

How Do We Tell The Children: A Step by Step Guide for Helping Children Two to Teen Cope With Someone Dies
Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons, 1993
155.937
Practical advice for talking to children of all ages about death, separation and loss.  Tells adults how they can help children cope with feelings of grief, fear and loss.

Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child
Earl A. Grollman, 1990
155.937
A compassionate guide for parents and children to read together featuring answers to questions children ask about death.  Includes a list of resources and organizations that can help.

Teenagers Dealing With Death

Death Is Hard To Live With: Teenagers and How They Cope With Loss
Janet Bode, 1993
155.937
Through interviews, Ms. Bode tells how teenagers cope with the shock and tragedy of the death of a friend of relative.  Information is also provided by social workers and religious leaders.

Teenagers Face To Face With Bereavement
Karen Gravelle and Charles Haskins, 1989
155.937
Seventeen young adults who have been through grief discuss the death of parents, siblings and friends.  They talk about important subjects such as relationships with the terminally ill and dealing with depression, anger and guilt.

When A Friend Dies: A Book For Teens About Grieving and Healing
Marilyn E. Gootman, 1994
155.937
A concise and easy to read book for teens who have experienced the loss of a friend.

Life After Death

The Case For Heaven: Near-Death Experiences As Evidence Of The Afterlife
Mallhy Cox-Chapman, 1995
133.9013
Based on interviews with individuals who have had their near-death experiences and share a belief in the afterlife.

Hello From Heaven
Bill Guggenheim, 1995
133.9
A study into the field of research called 'after death communication'.  This is a spiritual experience that occurs when someone is contacted by a friend or family member who has died.

On Life After Death
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, 1991
155.937
A collection of four essays drawn from the author's experiences of working with the dying.

Soul Search: A Scientist Explores The Afterlife
David Darling, 1995
129
The author draws on the latest concepts in neurology, anthropology and cosmology to provide a vibrant treatise on life, death and the afterlife.

What Survives: Contemporary Explorations Of Life After Death
Gary Doore, 1990
129
A collection of writings exploring the belief in life after death.