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The Memorial Service
(A memorial service is a ceremony held in a place of worship, a funeral chapel or other public place such as a hotel meeting room, golf clubhouse or private dining room. They are held most often in conjunction with a cremation. The service is conducted by persons of faith or is secular in nature.)
One reason people shy away from funeral and memorial services is that they consider the events 'depressing.'
Of course, any funeral service brings the idea of
one's own death closer to home. 'Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And
therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for
thee,' are the famous words of John Donne.
But our grief and even fear about death are not the only factors to be considered. Well presented, the service can bring us joyful remembrances, uplifting examples drawn from a lifetime, and a deeper appreciation of the gift of our own lives.
And, whether or not we hold personal religious beliefs, we cannot avoid at that moment dealing with the extraordinary and unanswerable mystery of Life itself. For a moment, we are lifted out of ourselves, to reconsider the meaning of why.
The purpose of a service is not to make us grieve. We are already bereft by loss.
The purpose is to present us with ways to heal our grief -- for people of faith, this may be through prayer; for everyone, it is through goodwill and brotherhood, sharing a common tribal experience, and showing our support and our respect for the mourning family.
