She clung to the body
and could scarcely be
torn away when the time
came for it to be carried
into the room, washed
and placed in the coffin.
All this had been the day
before. To-day the frenzy
of her grief had abated,
giving way to a weary
numbness; she sat in
silence, though still only
half conscious of herself
and of her surroundings.
Boris Pasternak
You Are Not Alone
Directory of
Counselors,
Non-Profit Support Groups & Hospice Societies
The loss may be the
most difficult you ever face. Or you may believe that you are not feeling enough, which creates guilt. No one can understand your grief.
Nor, as a supporting friend, can you expect to understand what someone else is experiencing. You can only express your personal feelings.
How can we cope, particularly when death presents us with so many details?
"It gets harder all the time," writes J. M. Coetzee in his Booker Prize winning novel, Disgrace. "One gets used to things getting harder; one ceases to be surprised that what used to be as hard as hard can be grows harder yet."
There are no answers that fit everyone. For some, it is a time to be thankful for family, friends and faith. For some, it remains a 'time out of time', and where we reside nothing can reach us.
Only you understand how it is.
Here are some thoughts we hope will be of value to you.